Why am I excited about going to the Republican National Convention?

This is why:

We were doing what journalists do at major news events, namely, whine that there is no news, when James got a text-message tip that there was a bird-porn protest going on in downtown Denver.

…Minutes later we arrived at a busy street corner where a woman was holding up a sign that said, ''DEMOCRATS STOP BIRD PORN!'' She was with two men, one with a bullhorn, who were handing out leaflets that said, ''BIRD WATCHERS ARE VOYEURS!'' and ``LEAVE THE BIRDS ALONE!''

I spoke to the sign woman, Anaida Krok, and the bullhorn man, Ed Brenner. Their position, if I understand them correctly, is that bird-watchers are perverts who enjoy watching birds have sex, and this must be stopped.

It is now my life's goal to find a protest even more ridiculous than this one.

Hat tip James Lileks.