Fun with stupid criminals

From the Janesville Gazette Blotter:

Item 1.

A man in the 600 block of West Milwaukee Street tried to buy alcohol at a liquor store. The clerk refused to sell to the man. He appeared heavily intoxicated.

He also wet his pants. The clerk told the man he had soiled himself, but the man seemed surprised. He left the store. While the man was leaving, he continued to urinate on himself.

The man then climbed into a car parked at a nearby gas station. The driver of the car had pumped $14 in gas. The driver and the man left without paying for the gas.

Item 2.

A deputy went to an apartment in the 4700 block of West Graham Drive in Janesville. The previous tenant in the apartment had moved out, but he left a dead dog inside.

Item 3.

A woman reported her cell phone getting stolen out of her purse at a downtown bar. The phone was a red Blackberry Pearl. The woman called her phone. A man answered. He told her to cancel her service. He said he was going to keep her phone.

Reader comments at the bottom of the page are a riot; if the commenters were all in the same place, I bet we'd have another item or two for the Blotter.