Breaking News...

Last evening it was learned, through a document leaked out the Governors office, that the Governor has has been contemplating a comprehensive plan that he feels can solve many of the state's budget woes. The latest plan also will provide Doyle with another constituency block in which he can tap for campaign money. This constituency block is handsomely paid, and will also be the beneficiary of your tax dollars. Surprise, surprise, surprise. The proposal out of Madison is backed by the state medical board and will help in these three areas, a statewide smoking ban, a smoking cessation program, health coverage mandates, as well as the potential to further brainwash the voting public. More on that last point later in the news brief.

The plan is calling for an immediate roundup of ALL smokers in the state, whether they smoke a single cigarette a day, one cigar a week, and in many cases, even the citizens who are victims of 'second hand' smoke, and scheduling them for brain surgery. That's right, brain surgery.

It is revealed that Governor Doyle has been in contact with Paul Matthews, a clinical neuroscientist at Imperial College in London, UK, who has been a pioneer in the field of neuroscience and has discovered a particular area of the brain that deals with addictions, (See breaking story in New Scientist), smoking being one of them. Doyle was particularly worried that the potential for malfeasance could occur in that it may also cure a person's addiction to government as well. but was assured that they could isolate the area dealing with smoking. Another plus in the plan, is that right before the surgery is done, an small shock in a region of the brain next to the insula, will almost render the victim unable to remember that the surgery had even occurred at all.

It has also been rumored that there have been large segments of the Madison population that have fallen victim to the plan in preliminary secret tests over the last 2 years. It has been determined that the many of the recipients were unknown guinea pigs and that most of them actually had failed attempts. This of course worked in favor of the current state administration. Many of the recipients of the early surgery have had their ability to think logically, altered. If you've ever spent time in Madison or read their newspapers, by watching and listening to everyone, you will know that this is true.

More details will be further explained as we receive them.

Chris - OTBL