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Sic Semper Tyrannis

Friday, June 05, 2009

The Life Aquatic

I'm watching Whale Wars season 2 episode 1 and wishing I could type fast enough to live-blog it. For those of you like me who don't live by the dial, it's a show about the greenies from the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

Just now we had try-outs for chemical bag throwing to find three crew members most likely to hit the deck of a whaler at about 100-plus feet with a compound that makes people puke uncontrollably, then the bad weather set in and the puking began (not the chemical bag-induced kind), along with the newbies describing sea sickness. Fun!

Why am I not surprised by the type of person that makes a Sea Shepherd? What do you think:

They look a lot more Berkeley on the show, but this is a cute pic.

We wondered who was financing this spendy endeavor. "Your cable dollars at work," said I. L guessed that a lot of the crew were probably paying their way to get their doctorates. Which begged the question:

"Do the interns get Glocks?"

Truth is, you can fund the SS Crew efforts with a Visa, a cool cap or other gear.

Favorite moment and quote from the show: They've located the main whaler and are frantically prepping to attack; an intern notes that one of the leaders was "waving his hands kind of confusingly and saying we need to head north while gesturing south." Then the narrator says
The Sea Shepherds crew and the Steve Irwin have missed their chance to catch the Nisha Maru and are extremely off course.
They needs some technologies 'n stuff. Like the helicopter they had in the sky not too long ago to point out the whaler in the small antarctic cove they just flew past.

Is it just me, or in another time, wouldn't a guy who makes a living taking video of himself and other "experts" hugging crocodiles, whales and other innocent aquatic bystanders be kind of anathema to the Sea Shepherds? You know, the guy known as "the Crocodile Hunter"? But somehow, now he's a good name for a ship of wildlife pirates?

That part about throwing "chemical bags," which are basically some kind of tear gas that make anyone who comes in contact with it wretch uncontrollably, reminds me: the website has a page titled "Is There a "Law of the Sea" All Ships Are Obliged to Follow?"

You know, laws, like the kind that hold you responsible for harrassing others and trying to put people "out of business. I'd like to send them to the bottom of the sea," as the captain put it.

Hoist the Jolly Roger for the Sea Shepherds!