There goes the neighborhood

Ah, Baraboo. Circus heritage, fabulous scenery, nice people, satanic cults.

A 400-pound statue of the Virgin Mary was recovered recently in a Baraboo cemetery after it was stolen from a church in Sauk City — possibly by members of a satanic cult.

The statue was stolen on June 13 — a Friday the 13th — from St. Aloysius Catholic Church in Sauk City. Other items were stolen from the church the same day. In the basement classroom, where the church's religious education class meets, a satanic slogan was written on a white board, along with profane language.

The statue was found under trees on Saturday on the western end of the Walnut Hill Cemetery in Baraboo by Rick Stieve, the cemetery's superintendent.

…Froese said earlier that the theft looked like cult activity, even if that's not what it is.

"I don't know if I believe it's the work of cult activity. It just may be someone making it look like that," Froese said recently. "It could be some kids that think they know what cult activity is."

Yeah, sure it could be just “some kids.” Hasn’t this guy ever read Lord of the Flies? Huh? Seen Children of the Corn?

Looks like I’m on guard duty tonight. Oh, no, wait: the kids are on guard duty tonight.

Oh, no, wait…Children of the Corn. Yeah, I’m on guard duty tonight.