The Dow Jones is swinging more wildly than...

...I really want to do another one of these posts, but I can't think of anything that swings this wildly. A spider in a Zoot Suit clinging to a thread attached to a roller coaster during a hurricane doesn't swing this wildly.

The Dow Jones is swinging more wildly than…

…Spiderman on a bender;

…Barack Obama’s damage control;

…”Zoot Suit Riot” played at 78 rpm.

Note: if you don’t understand the reference to “78 rpm,” you’re too young to be out on the internet alone.

The Dow Jones is Swinging More Wildly Than...

...teenage hormone levels;

...the rear end of my car taking a curve on Madison's streets;

...the Clintons at Barack Obama.

The Dow Jones is swinging more wildly than...

...Tarzan after a bar crawl.

...a pregnant woman's moods during a chocolate and pickle shortage.

...the back door of the Brewers' bandwagon.

What, you think you can do better?