Badger Blog Alliance

Sic Semper Tyrannis

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Getting serious about getting green; or, 'It takes a government to raise a planet'

Do you think the EPA should be able to:

• Impose Grass Mileage Standards for Home Lawnmowers
• Put Speed Limiters on the Commercial Trucking Fleet
• List Large Single-Family Homes as Carbon-Polluters
• Require Carbon Permits for Retail, Restaurant, Hotel and School Construction

No, really. Think about it.

What a boon! New government jobs for house-to-house lawnmower checks, and additional revenue from lawnmower registration, just like your car, not to mention fines for infractions of standards!

Sure, many trucking companies already have regulators on their fleets that don't allow them to exceed 65mph - they're the ones you're constantly playing I-pass-you, you-pass-me with on the highway. Let's slow 'em all down, even though speed limits vary not just state to state, but area to area! We can let the EPA decide whether 55mph is best, or let 'em have the ability to go up to 65 like the self-regulators. And we can just tack on new regulator checkers at weigh stations, so it's practically a no-brainer! More jobs, more fees, more fines, and an economic boon to the engine regulator industry!

Do you have a large single-family home? Yeah, me neither. Will the EPA think so? Who knows! But won't it be fun to watch them craft a global warming policy for this that deals with our carbon footprint? I'm pretty sure that the EPA will come to the wise decision that any home is a "large" home when it comes to that pesky carbon pollution you've been spewing willy-nilly all these years. More new government jobs! More revenue from fines, fees and registrations!

I mean, really - what does "large" mean when the EPA intends to move on to shops, restaurants, hotels and schools? Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money! Imagine the soaring economy!

Carbon permits for everyone!