Vote for Jay

Folkbum: When I run for president, this will be my platform

One item, and one item only: All holidays will be moved to Fridays.

I mean, the first day of work in a week always feels like a Monday even if you didn't have to work on the actual Monday; missing work on a Monday is not really avoiding "Monday" at all. But a Thursday before a long weekend will always feel like a Friday. So we move all holidays to Fridays--the number of "Mondays" will remain unchanged, but we'll have a lot fewer Thursdays.

Plus, I'll get rid of the penny.

Who knew Jay was such a hands-off libertarian?