The Book of Job, Updated

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. He had seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.

Job 1:1-3

You know what else he had? Manure up the ying-yang.

If this were happening today, Satan would have created a governmental regulatory industry to declare Job's business a mega-farm and descend on him like locusts with bureaucratic flaming hoops.

Bet that would have made Job take the Lord's name in vain a couple times.