Bessie is Tooting Too Much

It's stories like this that make me wish I could go into stand-up comedy.

Material like this is too good.

BARMY Euro MPs are demanding new laws to stop cows and sheep PARPING.

Their call came after the UN said livestock emissions were a bigger threat to the planet than transport.

The MEPs have asked the European Commission to “look again at the livestock question in direct connection with global warming”.

The official EU declaration demands changes to animals’ diets, to capture gas emissions and recycle manure.

They warned: “The livestock sector presents the greatest threat to the planet.” The proposal will be looked at by the 27 member states.

The UN says livestock farming generates 18 per cent of greenhouse gases while transport accounts for 14 per cent.

The Urban Dictionary defines "parp" as the noise made when farting whilst tightly clenching buttocks.

PeTA has also attacked cows -- in the name of environmentalism of course -- saying that less cows (since we'd all be vegetarians, thus fewer cows being kept for human consumption) will also heal the Earth.

One thing I've often wondered in this assault against cows for being, well, cows is what will become of the farmers (both dairy and livestock) in this cow-free world. Or have the environmental socialists not fully thought that out yet?