Hey, Idiot!

I was saving this post on Subject to Change for a rainy day. I think that if I sit on it any longer I'm going to get heartburn.

Dear national, state, and local representatives who are in favor of banning smoking in public places,

Are you high? You must be smoking SOMETHING, and I'll bet it's not tobacco.

I don't need anyone to prove to me that cigarettes generate a huge amount of tax revenue. All I have to do is scan a parking lot for discarded cigarette butts, or when I was a smoker, simply look in my "butt bucket" in the backyard.

Each one of those nasty filters represents a huge chunck of change for the government to piss away on whatever you darn-well please. It certainly isn't money that's reserved for something that might make sense, like supplimental health care for smokers.

Cigarette taxes are pennies from heaven for our schools, roads, stadiums, and cutsie little urban art projects. If you ban smoking in public, people will smoke less. You've figured this out, right? If people smoke less they will buy fewer cigarettes, and therefore pay fewer taxes.

Suddenly, there will be a budget shortfall and you'll think it's a good idea to raise taxes elsewhere. It won't be a good idea, though, and you're going to make a lot of people very angry when you tell them that

a) You can't smoke anywhere anymore.

b) We can't afford to run things because we took away your cigarettes. Here's your new and improved property tax bill. Have a nice day.

Seriously, we need smokers because they've got money to burn. Quit trying to treat them like the scum of the earth and accept the generous donation they make to the "greater good" through that enormous tax contribution. Smokers have let you beat them up for years, because they know that smoking is not good for them. They've stood passively by while you taxed them more and more, kicked them outside, and sued the companies that feed this nasty habit. They've put up with it because most smokers will admit that it's not a pleasant habit and people should be encouraged not to start.

You've easily turned smokers into the new slave class, quietly pumping millions (or billions?) of dollars into the economy and the government. Now, you want to emancipate them by force? Is that the idea? Gosh, it's a noble cause but what if they don't want to be freed? And, what of that economy? How do you deal with that drying up essentially overnight?

Sincerely,
Aaron

P.S. Ethanol also sucks rocks.